Yesterday, I learned that Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide months after he posted his own It Gets Better video to YouTube. I found the news to be shocking and heartbreaking at the same time. If he really believed it gets better he wouldn’t have done it, right? Wrong. Jamey probably found himself in the same position I did at his age. Gay. Alone. Like me, Jamey didn’t have the support he needed in his most desperate time. We can try to place blame on the bullies, schools, government and maybe even his parents; but we could be wrong. The blame may very well lie with us, the Gay Community.
In the 80’s there were certain risks for admitting to ourselves and others our true natures. Most of us remained closeted into our twenties and beyond. Many sought refuge in places and people that were not healthy to us; bars and the trolls that frequented them. These sanctuaries led to various addictions, abuses and diseases that had the potential to lead us to certain destruction. There was nowhere else to go. Our parents didn’t approve. Our religious leaders convinced us that we were damned. And even our best friends quit talking to us. Isolated, we struggled through each day hoping for things to get better.
Today every major city has a Gay Lesbian Community Center (GLCC), but they’re lacking in services to the LBGT community. I called a few in my area and asked if there were any activities going on that I may find interesting. All told me about their HIV testing schedules, one told me about a semi-annual bar-b-que. That’s it. I then explained that I needed information on youth oriented activities since my neighbor’s son, fourteen, is gay and he’s really going through a tough time and I think he should connect with others in West Palm Beach in his own age group. I got dead air. All these “resources” and nothing to help the most vulnerable in our community.
I realize why “Matt” is a permanent fixture on my patio; he has nowhere else to go. Everything I thought was there to help him turned out to be a myth. There is no peer counseling or gay health issues awareness talks for him to attend. I couldn’t find a single social group for gay teens to get together in a clean safe environment just to hang out.
The LGBT community has fallen into slacktivism. We retweet random quotes from various celebrities about how it gets better. We make videos saying it gets better to post on YouTube. We march once a year in every state in colorful parades that have lost their meaning. We sign our names to random internet petitions calling for the government to stop bullying. And that’s pretty much where it ends. We are letting “Matt” and others like him down.
If you want to show the next generation that it really does get better, it’s up to you to get off your duff and go out and show them how much better it got. If your GLCC is lacking in youth activities then volunteer to start one. If your GLCC is unwilling, maybe you have a LBGT friendly church in your area willing to help. In today’s age of social media, it wouldn’t take too much to have a pizza and coke social at the local bowling alley. Share your story and invite others to do the same. Anything you do can help save one young life.
I have made “Matt” my personal responsibility and he knows he can contact me any time if he needs to talk; I will not let him follow Jamey’s path. I challenge the LBGT community to do the same.
